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Myth No. 5:
"Annulments place the blame on the other party"
"Whenever you point at someone," a beloved professor of ours
would caution us, waving his index finger, "three fingers point right back at you." How true! The path
of
an annulment offers more constructive alternatives, encouraging acceptance of mutual responsibility, even
if "the other guy" started it all.
Discovering that tribunals do not host a "blame game" will disappoint a few but may surprise,
if not relieve, many more. In an annulment process, if anything is accused, it is the marriage!
The petitioner maintains that, for serious reason, the tribunal should sustain his or her claim against
the presumption of its validity. The other party (or respondent) may agree, disagree (maintaining the
marriage is valid), or concur, though maybe on other grounds. Lest the marriage have no one to
speak on its behalf, every annulment process requires the participation of the Defender of the Bond to
ensure all reasonable arguments for validity are raised. But the focal point remains the soundness of
the marriage, not the sins or transgressions of a partner.
The grounds may well allege that one or both parties lacked or withheld,
deliberately or due to some duress or ignorance, a key ingredient for a valid union. Each party, however,
will be
advised and encouraged to examine how both parties have taken responsibility for the marriage and its
inalienable rights and duties. Furthermore, in spite of divorce and annulment, there can be no undoing
of certain mutual responsibilities between the spouses and towards their children.
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